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懂得什麼時候不要說話,是一種智慧
by 柯瑾諺 2009-07-18 00:29:42, Reply(164), Views(2930)

每個戀人和每個家庭都會遇到的經濟上的危機。

如果你的家人精明一世、糊塗一時,運氣不好被倒會,
或為朋友作保受牽連,你當然也會跟著不開心,
但懂的相處之道的人,自然得避免在這時製造雙方的裂痕,

不該有話直說的埋怨道:
「我早就知道,你這麼貪財一定會遭到報應!」
或「我早就告訴你那個人不可靠了,你偏要相信他,
這下好了吧,知道我的話是對的了吧?」
這些話比直截了當罵「你這個白癡!」更難聽。

這時候沉默是最好的支持,其實犯錯者本身必然從失敗中的到教訓,
不必再送給他一頓鞭子。
對方在度過難關以後,會終身感激你的支持。
甚至,你什麼都沒做,他也會對你感激涕零的。
懂得什麼時候不要說話,是一種智慧。
當朋友也是一樣。
在別人哀慟欲絕的時候,你還要追根究底,
就像人家的傷疤好不容易在結痂,你還來撥人家的痂。
最好的安慰是無言的微笑,和傾聽。

 

 

 

 

 

 

有智慧的父母也是孩子福份。

  在英國遊學的時候,住宿家庭隔壁就住了一對很有智慧的夫妻。
他們剛好度過七年之癢。
有一次我在院子看書,目睹隔壁院子發生的事情。


布朗先生正在教他五歲的兒子安迪使用剪草機,
父子兩剪得正高興時,父親進門去接電話。
接著我看到一幕慘劇;
五歲的安迪把剪草機推向父親最愛的鬱金香花園,
不一會,已經有 兩公尺 長的花圃糟殃。
布朗先生出來,鐵青著一張臉。

眼看他的拳頭已經高高的舉起......
忽然,布朗太太出來了,她看見滿目狼藉的花圃,馬上知明白發生了什麼事。
她小聲、溫柔地對先生笑道:

「喂,我們現在人生最大的幸福是養孩子,不是在養鬱金香。」
三秒鐘後,他們交換一個吻,一切歸於平靜。

我把這個故事告訴好友,她是個家庭主婦。

後來她告訴我,很感激我跟她說這個故事。

「以前孩子打破東西,我少不了罵他兩聲,
現在我會告訴自己,對我重要的是孩子,不是碗。
哪個小孩在成長過程不會打破東西呢?」

情緒智商高的人懂得分輕重。
如果你真的珍視感情的價值,就該懂得在他倒霉的時候施小惠。
也許我們都沒有聰明到「一句解千愁」的地步。
傾聽卻是人人做得到的施恩行為

傾聽,常比替他義憤填膺或替他擔起一切聰明一百倍。

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